There are many people out there who are trying to swindle some dollars out of whoever Jane Austen's royalties go to now. These copycats are not at all pathetic.

Out of all of these moochers, the latest and arguably most pathetic is Seth Grahame-Smith, the author of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. This "Classic Regency Romance - Now with Ultraviolent Zombie Mayhem" stars Elizabeth Bennet as a weapon-wielding zombie-killer who has a "delightful comedy of manners" with Mr. Darcy.

Am I going to have to be the first to say it? One word: No.

This is a funny idea, in the sense that if J.D. in Scrubs said, "Hey guys, what if Pride and Prejudice had... ZOMBIES?" you would probably laugh. However, this is not an idea worth devoting 320 pages of your time to. It's all very well if you didn't like reading Jane Austen in high school, but this isn't even particularly offensive to the original story; it's just page upon page of you supposedly laughing at the contrast between Regency England and zombies.

Seriously, let's all just face it: paying $12.95 for a paperback that will undoubtedly end up unread on your bookshelf is just not worth it. It's like Stephen Colbert running for President: the idea was funny initially, but when you take it too far, the humor slowly seeps away, like zombie blood on the Meryton fields.

I think it is not a stretch to say that the biggest crisis facing the world today is Twilight. (Shortly followed by AIDS, world hunger, and the fact that MTV doesn't play music anymore.) So what, you ask, could be worse than Twilight?

The answer, of course, is more twilight.

A sequel! Excellent, you say! Well, not so fast. It turns out that it is a sequel not being written by the original author. Neither is it endorsed by said author. This "sequel" is, in fact, a gigantic fanfiction written by a woman named LadySylliba.

Now, fanfiction is generally something of an evil in and of itself, seeing as how it's usually badly-written wish fulfullment about the author's favorite character, and this book is no exception. It picks up where the original books left off and apparently completely reverses everything, turning the werewolf Jacob who got jacked over in the original into the hero.

It gets even funnier when you realize, with very little sleuthing, that the publisher? Well, aside from the annoyingly loud beep that happens every time you click over a tab on their website, the main problem with the publisher is that it IS LadySylliba. And by little sleuthing, I mean going to her youtube channel.

While it's amazing that LadySylliba seems to think she won't have lawyers up her nose in approximately 3.4 seconds(the amount of time it takes Stephanie Meyer to stop sniffling about being upstaged and get angry about it), what's even more amazing really is that someone took the time out of their life to write a gigantic fanfiction to Twilight and then be enraged enough with the actual ending of the series to try to publish their own ending.

I ask you - why is this popular?