I have been chosen by the gods to be the one to bring humanity this message: What started out as a harmlessly crap show on the CW every week at 9 has taken on a life of its own and grown into something terrible - a fad.

The ins and outs of the annoying perfect Serena, date-rapist but apparently still loveable Chuck, and cloyingly sweet Dan, were irritating to begin with. While everyone is interested in what rich people do, people are universally annoyed by rich teenagers because you can't even pretend that they might in some way have earned and appreciate their money. Nope, they're just spoiled rich brats. So when it began, people were just mildly interested because there were jailbait pretty girls and it was fun to place bets on whether the men on the show were post-op or going through the change to manhood.

But now, the show is on a second season. And there's going to be a third? What? American teenagers, have you lost your minds? There is no need to see if Serena and Dan will break up again(they will) because you know in your little Coach-loving hearts that they will get back together within the next episode. And all those guys you've got posters of? Uh, I'm pretty sure they're women.